Second time is a charm?

COMP #2 is over. I just don't know how to read this one. I cannot explain how hard I worked for this exam but some of the questions on that form... Oy. Maybe it is just the way people feel after exams all the time. I just can't remember how I felt after the first one. Maybe I will take a trip down to my old blog on it, haha. Pharm actually wasn't bad on this one... But jeeze who knows. All I know is the opinion of the 5 here that took it, which share my same thoughts. I wonder how it was in Miami? Dominica? My second practice exam - I swore I did so awful but really improved ALOT so maybe it is like this too?

To be truthful, I am just trying to think what would be the purpose of me failing. I can't change what has already happened. What's done is done. At least this time I know how hard I worked. It just seems so ironic that when I really wasn't studying hard like last time (be it that I was just SO thrilled to be home), I still pulled a 62%. Now, when I worked so very hard - I could do worse? I guess today, I am just trying to see why it would work out that way - just to prepare myself for the worst. Failing this means alot: no Saginaw program, no Step next month, possible COMP #3 and worst of all practically impossible to graduate in 2010. Okay, okay lady - slow down, right? Haha, I know I know, but hey you chose to read this blog and I am giving you exactly what is going through my mind right now. Anyhoo - I'm just wondering what lesson I was meant to learn if that were to happen. I am just not sure what it would be. I worked so hard, tried and tried.

Finally, upon getting home I was thinking that maybe I am just supposed to have faith. I prayed so much and put so much of myself into studying - I just need to believe that it is possible and stop being so negative. Maybe it went just fine and I have nothing to worry about. Of course I would love to do better but I would be lying if I said I wouldn't be happy with a 64% passing score. I hear though that just like the practice exams I have taken, there is a curve to US students, depending on the difficulty of the form taken. Far be it for me to just whine about how hard it was if I didn't prepare but it really was a tough one. Of course, there were some very easy questions, but how many I'm not sure. Maybe the ones I got right, everyone else did too and it doesn't matter. Anyway, I just remember getting my second practice exam score and being shocked of how I improved! It was so much harder, it seemed than the first one. So I am wondering if it was a curve based on it being a harder form.

Oy, these thoughts can go on and on. I am glad it is done though. I know this time was so much different. I slept well, ate breakfast, was very relaxed and confident going in, no traveling around the country or taking taxis and getting lost in Miami - and I worked my "tail" off - seriously... Things were so different this time. So will it be reflected when my scores come in? I honestly feel that I am so ready to move on to the next step of my journey. I just pray for the faith and belief that all the hard work will pay off...

Last day of 5th semester!

It is over. 5th semester is over, what?? And WOOOOO - what a last day! Today was full of learning procedures: IVs, central lines, IOs, LPs, blood draws, fiberglass splinting and more intubations and codes! It was very cool and the simulators were awesome. At the end of the day our teacher Dr. V told us that we were free to go unless we would like the chance to practice on real people! Umm, yeah! Everyone was so shy after the demo and no one wanted to stick anyone - after all the rule is, "If you want to stick someone, you have to be willing to be stuck by someone else." Great rule. I volunteered to go first and stuck, you guessed it, Dr. V and did my first blood draw! Then after, I got to stick him again and start an IV! He was such a trooper, haha. But as agreed, I let my classmate stick me afterwards. I was so happy to have my "first time jitters" done and over with. I feel like I can without a doubt go in and feel confident doing it again and looking forward to it!

It was such a great way to spend our last day of lecture. Now all that is left is my exams Monday-Wednesday, then move home! I am ready to get my last weekend of studying in before the big exam and am looking forward to relaxing with my sweetie before my last go at the books! I should probably get going though - he will be here any minute!!!

Revived and Ready to go!

Man that was a rough few days! I just couldn't get as much work done as I wanted! But now, I am back on track. I just finished my BLS/ACLS course (a whole day lol) and passed my exam. I am now certified! It was a very cool exam. Besides the two written exams we had to take, we had to go in groups to the simulation lab and each take our turn running a code. Very cool. Mind you it was not the perfect example by any means but really was, well an adrenaline rush and exciting to have a run at it! Now knowing not only drugs but moving into dosages is really yet another step in our prep for clinicals. Slowly but surely, we are getting ready for that next transition... Crazy that it is here so soon!

As for now, I have my final list of what to look over before my exam Tuesday and am making good progress thus far. Feeling confident and just ready to kick this exam out and get home. Of course, my homecoming week would not be complete without my 5th semester final exam and epidemiology exam (mind you, a 2 hour exam over 2 lectures lol) but I am sure it will all work out just fine. The COMP is my misson next week and everything else must take a back seat.

Today I had such a great morning. I woke up finding out my peds rotation was cancelled. Yes, sure would have been a nice experience, but we had been cancelled on once already and a few other classmates, when their rotations were cancelled - they didn't have to reschedule. My luck, I did. Being days away from the most important test thus far and going home, I was so happy for the extra study time! I definitely made use of it! After waking up, I found the front desk of the hotel put two cards under my door! Thanks Mom and Tim! Love you both tons!!! I swear their support is SO appreciated! Such a great start to the day! Today, I really was motivated as my Tony will be here tomorrow! It has been a rough week on me and when he told me he was coming made my week! I know I could make it until the end without him here but it means so much whenever I can see him and it recharges me - big time. He will be here for just a day but just enough for me to get back to work, finish here and move my bootie back home!

So today, I have looked through my practice exams one more time, started my flashards and continued on with my First Aid (this time knowing more what I am looking at then just aimlessly memorizing any detail to cram in my head lol). Still working, while watching the Food Network (Unwrapped!). Tomorrow is our last day of class where one of my favorite teachers who works in the ER (all my favs are ER docs lately, lol) is going to teach us more procedures - central lines, LPs, IVs etc. It will be a nice add-on to the catheters and intubation training and a "fun" last day!

Anyhoo - back to work, the end is near and 6th semester is almost in sight! Okay, I think we can lose the "semester" talk and just go for rotations! Please keep me in prayers and thoughts Tuesday if you can - nervous but confident at the same time!

P.S. Good luck down on the island - last push!!! Keep studying, homeward bound soon! :D

Feeling burnt...

This weekend, while semi-productive thus far, has left me feeling extremely burnt out. One week out from the COMP and I am just beat. Luckily, I know myself and that I will kick it into a high gear until the test but boy - I am getting mighty tired and ready for a break. Alot of my friends are out for my friends' Bachelor/Bachelorette parties - I wish I was there! I know it is good study-wise that I stayed here but I hate missing events, especially when it is as big as this! This is the first couple in our giant group of friends that are getting married! 2 weeks from today! So excited for them!!! Unless anyone gets engaged soon, I think Tony and I are next in line for next year! YAYYY! :) This summer will be the summer of wedding planning!

Anyhoo - I've been asked about how I feel on the new USMLE testing that is supposedly going to happen in the future. Basically instead of taking Step 1, 2, 3. It will be Pretty much 1&2 combined at the end of the third year and then take Step 3. I honestly don't know a ton about it but from my understanding, it doesn't seem like a great solution. I think being tested before entering clinicals is a great way to prepare students for their rotations. Without Step 1 before, I can see students slacking a bit more and just cramming at the very end. Clinicals expects you to know the pathophysiologies behind diseases - they don't reteach you what you should have learned in the classroom. In that aspect, I can see the good in being tested prior to third year. What benefit do students get by bypassing this exam?

Most importantly though, I do not see it being helpful to IMG/FMG medical students. The Step score is really what separates students from each other and is a level playing field for us all. Without the Step scores (as there were talks of making it Pass/Fail), I believe it would make things even harder for us and put yet another obstacle in our way. How will they distinguish the students for applying for special rotations or residency? What if a Ross student with a 230 Step and a US student with a 210 applied for a spot. Both would say "Pass" and my guess is that the US student would be taken above the other. It sucks because as of right now, our Step score is pretty much the the only major thing that we have going for us. It seems competition for us to stay at the same level in our applications would be more difficult. Seeing a "P", there is no way to tell if it was a 185 or a 240! Truth be told, I am not sure how Step 2 scores are ranked. I don't know if they will just use those scores or what, but overall I am not seeing a reason to fix what isn't broken - at least to me. I am not quite sure what brought about this thought for change...

Oy... I really think things are fine the way they are but that's just my opinion. As of right now though, I am about to get back to lovely hematology/oncology and work on until that exam 10 days from now... I can't wait for it to be over but more importantly to get that passing score!

Seeing a bit of light...

Well practice NBME #2 is over and was harder than the last. Last time I took form 4 and this time it was form 3. I won't give details about each because I don't want to give away any hints to ruin anyone's experiences with them but I thought 3 was a toughie! Ironically, I did... better! It was such a surprise and a great relief. My studying method is paying off! Last exam I got a 340, equivalent to a 175 on the Step. Not so good at all. This time? Still not as high as I want but a 390, equivalent to a 190. We are getting there folks! I am still planning on taking at least one more exam before the COMP but if I can improve 15 pts. in nearly 2-2.5 weeks, I am very optimistic for my next exam. Also - this made the difference between a pass or fail of the USMLE Step 1! According to my exam, I can pass the Step! Of course, I am don't feel like I can just rely or settle on that but it was such a great feeling to know that it IS possible to do! Next time, if I could break 200, I would be so very happy!

I know to some people these scores aren't anything to smile about but not to me - I am happy with my improvement and am ready to get studying again. I was a bit hesitant of posting my scores as I know others are scoring much higher than I am now. I am proud of myself though, as I am historically not the best test taker, but I am also doing this for others. So often you just see people who post their awesome scores and it really used to leave me feeling low. It seemed like everyone was scoring high because, well frankly, those who were average just wouldn't bother posting their score for others to see. Well, I am here to show all what hard work does and progress looks like! Hopefully it will help someone who might not be so lucky as to have exams come naturally to them. Just have to keep working, keep swimming (Finding Nemo!) and just push on when you feel like you can't do it anymore! So cliche and until I can come up with a better line of advice - if I can do it - YOU CAN TOO!

So for those studying for shelf exams, minis and even the COMP coming up - keep going!!! You are almost there!!! Don't give up!!! Take a break if you must, get a nice meal or go buy some good junk food to study with but keep going!!!

I will keep you all updated for my further progress! Looking foward to giving more good news!

Is it all about attitude?

So here I am studying as usual and going over my first practice exam. Mind you that I am not looking at the answers (NBME is hard to find them) but looking at my 2nd set of 50. Why didn't I do better? The questions were NOT that hard! I have to preface this by saying that my road to finding a good study strategy is ever winding. I always change it up and it seems to suit me. But before I took my first practice exam I was stressing, anxious and worried. After, I got my first glimpse of where I stood and it calmed me a bit and let me re-evaluate what I should be doing, even though the score was not what I was aiming for at all.

My next exam will be in a few days and I can't help but think that attitude has so much to do with it. I am very good at putting myself down as I am sure some of my classmates can attest to - I could always do better, easily disappointed and comparing myself constantly. Lately though, I am finding more confidence and am interested to know if this plays a role in my performance on practice tests. What do you think? I am always so admirable of others who just have that confidence. I try to say that I have it but as I am told, if you don't believe it - it won't happen. So does that mean if I do believe it, then it will? That is hard for me to believe, but if it does - I believe that one day I will have the perfect balance of work and home - I believe I will be a millionaire - I believe... Okay, I think I have made my point. But to me, it takes more than just believing it. I am traditionally a B+ student and always have been (post-high school that is - man I miss those high school As!), but I am completely fine with that. I have always been that way and I feel that where I lack in my GPA I make up for in other ways quite well. So why with this belief in myself can I jump in my exam scores?

The only thing I can come up with is that this belief in myself will lead me to think more positively, work harder than I thought I could and in turn produce a higher score. So it is time to wear that hat I guess, or permenantly bobby pin it to my head! I will keep holding onto that and see how my next NBME run-around turns out!

So here it goes... I believe I will get a good score!!!

Lazy McGee...

Okay, I'm not lazy - just busy and tired! Sorry for the lack of posts this month but for one, it's been a rough month on me and two, I haven't been sure what to write about lately. The weeks go by and it is the same schedule and nothing too exciting or boring is going on... just another semester. I feel much better lately but earlier in the month I was just going through a rough patch, pretty much just being sad most days. Not the best time to inspire and write happy thoughts on the blog, haha! Anyway, things are a little better now. I am getting ready to take my second practice exam next weekend and hoping that it will go better than the first. I'm sure it will. I have been working hard to figure out my study strategies and then re-figuring them out, lol, but I am looking foward to seeing how much better I will do.

I hear that the next 5th semester was chosen for Michigan? Congrats!!! You will love it! I am so happy I was chosen to be here - I can't say it enough. Just remember that you represent Ross and that even though we set the first impression - the job is now on you guys n' gals to keep it going!!! With applications going out (I think in June?) for the two year program, we will be leaving for home for the summer with hopes of returning in the fall... We will see! Having the rest of my education planned out for me would be such a blessing and the personality of this program just fits so perfectly with me.

Anyhoo - so today I am just sitting in my room studying as much as I can before my next NBME. I really want to go home this weekend but am not sure if that is such a good idea. My next COMP date is set to April 22nd, here in Saginaw. Of course, I am so nervous as alot is riding on this exam. But truthfully, I have put so much work into improving that I feel that I will be okay this time around. I really slacked last time but I was so excited to be home! Being here though really got me cracking the books... Anyway, I better get back to studying and doing more questions!

Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

What a day today. Great lectures on GI but a long day for sure. There is nothing I would like more than to take a whole day - better yet a week off and just relax. My practice exam is Saturday however and I need to keep studying. I thought I would be happy that I would not be doing Kaplan this week but studying has been hard, although it is getting better.

Tomorrow is a day off, a full day to get in as much studying as I can. It will be my last full day before Saturday so I hope I get alot done. Basically, on this test I just want to pass and score higher than my last one. I still have alot of material to go over but I would just love a good score to bring up my confidence a little. After tomorrow though I am busy busy! Wednesday I have my pediatric rotation in the morning and our midterm is scheduled for the afternoon. Thursday I will be at the nursing home and Friday we are going to another facility to do opthomology exams until noon. Then comes the best part of my week - my baby is coming up for the weekend yay! Luckily we both have to study so I will be able to get work done while he is here. After the exam though - I am calling it quits for the weekend. So I guess I will get my day off after all, haha.


Anyway, I am beat. Today was long and I had a hard kickboxing class last night (so sore but so fun!) This week is jammed with stuff to do but at least it will go by fast. As for now, I am just chillin' in my little hotel room and trying to get some work done... Better get back to it!

For those interested...

Hi all! Sorry for my lack of posts but between my tiredness and how busy I have been - yeah, I have been slacking. But things are going well. Our weeks are flying by here and I can't believe the end of next month I actually get a summer break! Gasp! What is a summer break? I forgot! Anyway, as for my studying I have been busting my butt to finish my Kaplan lectures for the past 5 weeks. I am proud to say that I am a week away from being done! This week however I am taking a break to study as much as I can over the notes I have made in my First Aid book to get ready for my practice COMP exam I will be taking on Saturday. After that, my studying continues and probably won't take another practice exam for another couple of weeks.

While I do have alot to talk about my own personal experiences here in Saginaw, I wanted to dedicate this post to those wondering about how the program has been working here. So here it goes....

As for us, Mondays are full days of class 9am-5pm. The lectures are good and are held here at the Ramada Inn. These lectures are a good review but with out feedback may become more clinical as what we are being told most days is basic and we feel we are ready to go beyond. Tuesdays sometimes we have class 9am-noon but other weeks we might not have anything. Wednesdays also are study days for the USMLE. While it might seem wonderful that there is time off - these days are stictly spent to study - so use them!!! Some weeks you might have a peds or psych rotation to do but for us it is only 3 weeks out of the semester. Thursdays are spent at the nursing home in Midland where we spend probably 8am-4pm doing examinations on residents. It is quite nice as the teachers there are doctors and NPs who pick out specific people to find pathologies on. For example, we have had Parkinson's patients, demential, carotid bruits, peripheral vascular disease, basal cell carcinoma, COPD, etc. We still have many organ systems to go which I am sure we will be seeing many more cases. We also do practice SOAP notes as well, which most of you are probably groaning at. The difference here is that we are being trained to do it the clinical way not how the island taught us. In this way, we really feel like we are stepping into the clinical realm and merging into how we need to be. It isn't about having every part of the H&P complete (say when your patient has a specific pathology but you still must do a full physical exam on systems that are not relevant). We are also graded by the faculty here in Michigan and our midterm is actually on Wednesday so we will see how that goes!

Finally, Fridays we have class usually 9am-noon as well. Schedules are subject to change and you need to be flexible! Weekends are open but if you must leave (which they encourage you not to) tell administration as soon as possible to avoid being penalized! As far as scheduling, that is about it! Everyone is so nice here and it has been a great experience so far! We are all looking forward to applying for the rotation program this fall and would love to spend more time with this great facility!

I know alot of people have been messaging me and I apologize for the lateness of this blog's info as well as my attention to their questions! I can say though, that the people here are truly dedicated to make this experience one that will be a great step in moving from the classroom setting into the clinical arena. Every week I am feeling more and more prepared - be it from my time to study for my Step or from my clinical experince as well. I hope this has helped a bit to those wondering what 5th is like here! Let me know if you have more questions! The next class to come through will probably have a different schedule based on the feedback we give and the new ideas that come as well! I can whole-heartedly say that I am happy to be here!

Sorry for all the delay, but I will write more about my own experiences soon! :)

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...

So begins our 3rd week in 5th semester. It's funny - I was watching America's Next Top Model (reruns that I can't stop turning on!) and Ms. Tyra related to me, haha. She said that when you are being taught you just want to reject it because it is change, but when you learn and you come back to situations that you never thought you could handle on your own, you remember those who taught you and appreciate the work that you once struggled with. I think that the beginning of the semester was like this for me. Moving into clinicals in intimidating and makes me so vulnerable to make a mistake - so much to the point of doubting yourself and if you made the right choice. I think I am slowly warming up to the communication between myself and patients.

It is not that I am afraid to talk to people - I love people! I could walk up to a complete stranger and just shoot the breeze! But when they are relying on me to tell them what is wrong with them or to examine them correctly while making them as comfortable as possible - it is overwhelming. Of course I want to impress my preceptors, but doing right by the patients is most important to me. I want to know that they feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable with me and open up to me. I just want the nerves to go away! I asked my preceptor when they do, and she said, "Any day now." I guess there will always be patients that can test you. Whether it is a challenging person or someone that comes in with issues where it is the first time that you have had to deal with them. A lecturer today was really grinding in dermatological language and having us present different lesions to her. I just don't like being wrong but she spoke with me at lunch saying how much she probes students because this is the time to screw things up! Don't you remember getting something wrong - stupid or not - and you just NEVER forget the answer after? I do! So maybe I shouldn't be afraid of it but embrace my time as a student. Tomorrow I am going to the psych ward to evaluate a patient. Only two of us have gone so far and I am the third. I think there has been a bipolar patient and schizophrenic patient as well - so who knows what I will get! After, you present to the preceptor and then begin to prepare your evaluation writeup. I am excited and am looking forward to those mistakes! (Okay, not really but I'm trying to get it in my head that it is OK!).

My big issue is where my head is lately. I have to admit, I've been doing alot of crying lately. I am SO blessed and I realize that of how I am back in Michigan now. As my sister says, "This is what you were waiting for!". That is so true. I feel guilty because now I seem greedy that I want more. I want to be back home with Tony. I want to be near my family and start REALLY living. Basically, it breaks down to this - rotations at home are not looking too promising. There are many rotations I do not have filled and for Tony and I, out-of-state rotations our last choice for me to go to. We are slowly coming to the conclusion that staying here in Saginaw for the 2 year program might be the right choice. Okay, it isn't exactly 2 years (September 2008-March 2010) so 1.5 years. But still, to me it makes me sad again. Every time I leave Tony my heart just aches and it is so hard. Even though he makes me promise I won't, I feel so guilty for leaving him alone for so long. So many people I have gone to school with - nothing will get in their way. If that means that they have to leave their significant others/family, so be it. I am feeling less and less like that. I feel like my personality lately is not matching others, and while that is fine, I just feel like maybe it reflects how my personality would match medicine and it worries me. I know that if my rotations were near home and I could live in my house I would feel completely different. I know that I have my family's (including my new family's soon to be!) support and love. I have just never been through something so hard in all my life to be away for so long. People tell me how lucky I am and how I shouldn't complain which of course doesn't help me at all. Sure I am better off than some, but isn't someone always better off than another? Jeeze. Anyway, I know I am lucky and blessed to be in the situation I am in. Things could be alot worse. I guess I am just focusing on how it could be better. Probably not the best thing to do, yes, but I am really trying to get out of this mood. I know I am a good fit with medicine and am just sick of the doubt.

So here I am, standing in front of two roads. Which do I take? With the help of my Tony, family and God, I know I can do this. I could give up and still have a great life. Or I can gut it out and have a life I had only dreamed of before while knowing that I not only changed my life and my future family's for the better, but I gave my life meaning by being able to help others when they needed it the most.

My guess is most take the easy road... Well... I'll take the one less traveled by and that will make all the difference.

A day in the life of a 5th semester student...

Well, here I am! All settled in 5th semester now and in the middle of week two in Michigan! Let me tell you, it is really a treat to be doing this semsester here! Everyone is so kind and welcoming to all of us and for once - we really feel like we are wanted! Since I have started we went through a 2 day orientation followed by great lectures that were so clinically based, practiced pelvics with speculums for the first time (are told that hopefully soon we can start on real patients) and surgical scrub training! Very exciting things happening. This week has been nice as well. The only criticism I have (if you can call it that) is that I don't think that some of our teachers this week really know how much we have learned up to this point. Some have hesitated to take it the extra step because they wanted to go over the basics (e.g. the neurological examination). This is so new to everyone and far be it for the lucky 10 of us to say something wrong - we just let it go - heck, it was a nice review anyway.

Tomorrow starts our clinical time, which will be held in a nursing home every Thursday. I think some were bummed that it was not a "real" hospital but they are working out getting us in on weekends to get more experience so I think it is great. Not only that, but they are hand picking patients to see in the nursing home that have real pathologies - Parkinsons, Multiple Sclerosis, Huntingtons, etc. So it won't be just yet another examination but ones which I am sure we will remember forever, much like the VSD and upper motor neuron lesions from the island.

Our weekly schedule is just wonderful! Mondays are full days of lecture but they are held in the hotel where I am staying so that is so nice to just get dressed and head downstairs! Tuesday are usually a half day with lecture or on certain weeks psych and peds rotations. My psych will be on this coming Tuesday where I will be giving a psych evaluation to a patient, make a diagnosis and then meeting with the doctor to talk and help prepare my writeup for the case. Wednesdays (like today) are our off days - so this is nearly two days so far that we are getting off to study! So wonderful because we all want to do so well on the Step and this above all is what will make it possible! I have gotten SO much Kaplan done in the past 10 days (actually less). I have no doubt I will be able to get through all the lectures well before this semester is over. It is really sinking in too - not lazily studying at all. I am definitely making my time here worth it.

I am very excited for this weekend because Tony will be coming up to see me! I am so glad we can see alot of each other this time around. It is still a little under two hours from home but it is better than being out of the country! There is talk about the new 2 year program here at Synergy starting in September and it is starting to be something I am considering. After being here so far - I am so impressed and think it could be a great thing. I am torn though because while it would be stress free and I wouldn't have to worry about EVER leaving Michigan for rotations - it is still not home. Trying to get my own rotations is slow and while I am scheduled to start in Detroit in July, I am not sure if it is something I will do. Without having them lined up it is hard to do because I have no idea where half or more of my rotations would be coming from. I just hate the idea of not being home until graduation. It is just going to have to be something to think about. Applications do not come out until June or July so there is still plenty of time to try to do that.

Anyway, I am going to get back to Kaplan and hit the hay. Clinicals from 8am-5:30pm tomorrow - oy. At least after it is happy hour in the lounge under us, then maybe we might go to Timbers. Have a great Valentine's Day! I am considering Friday V-day for me since Tony won't be up until then, haha! :)

Disappointed but ready for a fresh start...

Okay, so the COMP didn't go so well. I missed my mark by 2% (4 questions)... So okay - poor me, poor me - now get over it. I was upset sure- and embarrassed but honestly in a way I think it will be nice to have an extra exam before my Step. The only worry is that if it will throw off my schedule but it shouldn't. As far as I know, I will take the COMP again May 13th and still be able to take my Step by the end of May or early June - so no worries. Of course, it would have been nice to kick its butt this time around but I am trying to think of the brighter side of things. I really would feel uncomfortable getting a 64% and JUST passing because then I really wouldn't know how ready for the Step I was. I know that just getting by would probably be an overall better situation than what I am in now, but I have developed a sudden intense feeling to just crush this test for making me feel all these different ways that I am actually looking forward to take it again.

Now, I am looking at it as studying for my Step exam. Sure I have to take the COMP first but seeing as I will be taking my boards soon (very soon) after - it is better just to look at it from that angle. I will be studying from the time I get to Saginaw until May so the COMP exam will be pretty much my last bit of studying for the Step, so it will serve as a great indicator of where I will stand for the Step the following week.

So, right now I have got all my books together for 5th, my USMLE World question bank, Kaplan's QBook (not using their Qbank) for extra if I want it - it only cost me $6 on Ebay. I am just ready to get to Saginaw and get going. I'm very excited to be staying in the hotel, even if it is more expensive. I am just taking my newly bought dress clothes and a bunch of books! Everything else will be set and I think that is just wonderful. No setting up a new place, just unpack a suitcase and I'm good to go. I love that! I can just picture me and my books now :)!

So yeah, I guess I was a bit disappointed. Tony and I had to put off the champagne for another day - but better days sure to come very soon! As for now, I am enjoying my last week of having NOTHING to do. Although I will probably go through my Bates in preparation for my 5th semester. It's really hard for me to sit around and do nothing and I think I am jsut about ready to get it going again! Yay for staying in Michigan!!!

Another hoop jumped through...

Aaaaaand it's over. The COMP exam was 4 hours and 200 questions and boy I could not be happier to have it over with. I am not sure how well I did - but I am just hoping so badly that I passed the mark I needed. I don't even want to think about taking that exam over... Anyway, just praying and thinking positive.

Now? Just got back from the Cheesecake Factory with Lynn and her mom and watching TV! I will be heading back home in the morning and I can't wait! I miss Tony so much and just miss being home after 3 teeny days. He is sick now with Strep throat it seems and I just hope the medicine he is taking makes him feel better over the weekend. All that is left to do now is relax and soak up some solid vacation time before heading up to Saginaw. It is pretty nice because even though I spent so much time worrying and studying for this exam today, I still have the same amount of time left over to have a pretty full break like I did on the island! Yay for that!

I had a nice time though here in Miami but honestly, I could not imagine staying here. I'm SO blessed and lucky to be able to come home. I am just so over moving and living in foreign places, haha. I am so ready to just settle down and start my life. Looks like that is going to happen though and I am so excited!!! Sigh, well time to enjoy my last night in Miami (skipping parties and watching Grey's and ER instead :D) and wake up to fly back home - where I belong!

Almost time for Miami...

Just about two days left until I take off for Florida to take my exam... Yikes. I am nervous. I am honestly now just looking forward to it being over and getting to enjoy my last 2 weeks in the house before heading to Saginaw. I'm so glad not to be dreading 5th semester. I know I would be if I was going back to the island or Miami. I'm so lucky!

When I get down there I will be staying with my friend Lynn (thank you!!) and I can't wait! It was so nice of her to offer me a place to stay and it will be very nice to save the money. But, I will only be staying from Tuesday night until Friday morning and will be back by 2:30pm! So glad I will be back for the weekend and just get to focus on relaxing - like REAL relaxing.

Well, I'm going to head to bed - I want to hit First Aid and Goljan first thing tomorrow and do as much as I can. I probably won't be able to write until I get back but if I can get on the internet I will! Wish me luck and say prayers for me! I really needs this to go well...

Preparing for the NBME Comprehensive Exam...

The new year is here and off to a great start! I am so happy being home. I have been studying but really need to rev it up a bit more. My exam is on the 17th of this month and am hoping that the work that I have done will benefit me a bit. I really just want to pass. That is all I have to do - pass. A 64% on this exam would approximately equal a 185 passing score on the USMLE Step 1 exam that I will be taking in May hopefully.

Otherwise, I haven't been up to very much. Just hanging out with friends on the weekends, taking care of my sweetie and the house and studying while he is off at work. Looking forward to this week and getting some good work done. I will be leaving for Miami, where I will be taking my exam, on the 15th (Tuesday) and coming back on the 18th (Friday) hopefully in complete celebration. I have been told that no matter what, I will feel like I failed the exam. I hate that feeling and hope I am not feeling too low after... ah well.

I'm definitely have been getting in some good 1st year review which is really nice - time to get back to my 2nd year material again but I just keep finding more to go through. I am mostly using my First Aid book and the Cases book that goes along with it. Well, time to get some rest and start up my day tomorrow - so much still that I can go over!!!

Goodbye 2007, Hello 2008!

Hard to believe but it is the end of the year! Getting ready to start up our big New Year's bash at our house with ~50 of our closest friends! I can't wait! People will be getting here any minute so this will be short but I just had to put in one last entry. This has been the most challenging year of my life - being away from home for nearly the entire time. Last year at this time I was dreading the new year of 2007 - knowing what was ahead, what I was giving up and what I had to get through to have the island past me. Well, it is all over now - the hardest year thus far of my life but also the best is just another year to put away and remember. Time for a new beginning, a fresh start with my life back at home! I know each year will be getting better and better - but with all I have been though and the huge changes my life has made in this past year - if 2008 has a chance to top that, I can't wait to see what is in store for Tony and I in the new year.

Blessed with family, friends (who are family anyway :) ), great home and a wonderful life! May I not forget this in the new year and always work to better myself for the good of others! All my love! See you in 2008!!!

Getting settled back in my old life...

This is the greatest! I have made it back home before the storm and am sitting cozy in my new house (ok, we got it back in April so semi-new) with TONS of snow on the ground!!! It's so beautiful! I have unpacked my first 4 bags - whew! My folks still have I think 3 more for me but I will get to that later. But getting home was great! I had so many surprises!!!!

My mom wanted to catch some drinks at a restaurant inside the airport to celebrate so of course, how could I turn that down!?! But walking inside I looked up and saw my family, Tony's family and some of my closest friends all waiting for me!!!!!! I was so touched and, yes, I cried. I figured I would see them all but my parents put it all together with Tony's help and it was just so wonderful to hug everyone that is so very close to my heart and that I have missed all this time! But the surprises didn't end there! Tony took me home where I have traditionally hugged the back corner of it and we got to relax for a few. Then he wanted me to see my Christmas present a little early.

He takes me downstairs - ooooooh he set up an entertainment center with couches and our old big screen (I got him a flat screen for Christmas for the upstairs). But no, that wasn't it! I turned the corner and he flicks on some flights then *heavenly music* Tony built me a wet bar in the basement!!! The mother of all bars! With the help of Andy and Phil (thank you!!!) I see a 10 foot oak bar with that honey laquor kinda stuff to make it all soooo shiny! There is also a lighted display case in the back for our glass mugs, shot glasses and soon to be a wine rack for me! I see a 19" LCD screen tv!!! Also, my college mini fridge all is tucked back and into the wooden casing of the bar next to a beautiful sink! It is beautiful and amazing! They did such a wonderful job - I am actually in awe of it! It took them nearly a month to make! No wonder Tony wasn't online much my last month in Dominica, hahaha.

But those were our presents to each other. Of course you can tell how we both will benefit from them and will love them - but it adds so much to the house! After that we went out to Big Al's for the night and had another great time! So nice to see everyone! We sure packed alot into one day!

Tony's off at work now and I have just started up my COMP exam studying. Back to the basics of biochem and anatomy. I don't want to dwell on those subjects too long but I better get back to it before I have to go shopping with Corey (Tony's sis)! All I have to say is - IT IS GOOD TO BE HOME!

One flight away!

Greetings from a newly made 3rd year medical student! This trip has been amazingly smooth so far! I just hope it keeps up! I am one - ONE - flight away from being home in Michigan! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Last night was alot of fun. I was in Puerto Rico with Simran (hi!!) and we got sushi, cheesecake, chocolate cake and Coronas - yummmm! I had alot of fun, thanks girl! I woke up at 4am to get the traveling back on again and am now here in Miami waiting to board in about 45 mins!

Tonight will be fun I'm sure, I hope I get to see alot of my friends - I've missed them so much!!! Well, not much else to say besides I am happy, happy, happy!!!!! Wish me luck on my last flight, I hear that there is a storm brewing! It just needs to hold off until tonight!!! ;)

Leaving Dominica Tomorrow!

In less than 24 hours I will be in a taxi on my way to the airport to head back to Michigan! My time here on the Rock is over! One more exam to take in the morning and that is all that is left. I have just a huge sense of relief. While I still have alot of work to do today - I'll get it done and just do the best I can tomorrow. I am trying to imagine myself now how I will feel when I sit myself down on the prop plane to get out of here - I just can't wait!

My path is what is taking the most time out of my day but pretty soon I am going to head to the gym for my last workout and then grab my security deposit from James. After that, I will be back in the apartment to study out the rest of my time, head to my 8am exam then back to be picked up by Alexis... for the last time! I am sure it will all hit me more tomorrow that my time is over here because right now I still feel a little under pressure to study and get some things done.

The next time I write I will probably be in San Juan, at my lovely hotel! The taxi is picking me up so quickly that I most likely will not have a chance to write before I leave! So, as my last post in Dominica, I want to thank the people for their hospitality and bid the island farewell. I have never been pushed so hard, felt the biggest highs and lows and especially feel the sense of accomplishment that I have over the past 16 months. My first two years end tomorrow and then begins my time as a 3rd year medical student. I will no doubt strive to be the most eager, ambitious and hard-working student in the future hospitals - I just can't wait for it! It will be nice too when I can start posting about my experiences during rotations as I am sure my posts have gotten a bit "blah" over all these basic science years, haha.

Well, time to move on! I'm going to get in my last bit of studying before my LAST exam ever on the island! So until I return to United States territory - I love you all and see you very soon!!!

***GOODBYE DOMINICA!!!***

Trying to study, haha...

Wow, this seems like the impossible! Trying to study when I have 3, count 'em, 3 days to go! How can anyone be studying right now??? Luckily, I started on the weekend so I don't feel overwhelmed with it but I am finding myself being a little lazy this morning. Ah well, as always - it will get done - one way or another! Last night was alot of fun though! I got to just hang around with some buds from my class and just chill out - definitely a nice last night out! Thanks guys! :)

So... 3 days. Pretty much feeling that that will be more than enough time to get in all my studying but I am sure that opinion will change, haha. I am jsut so lazy right now I can barely move - I don't even feel like working out and that is rare. I have cleaned up my room a bit to get ready for James to come in and check it out tomorrow to get my security deposit back! Also, tomorrow I am getting my last laundry stuff done and going to be probably completely packed by tomorrow night! Craziness! I just hope I can bring everything home that I want and I don't go over the weight limit! Anyway, today is just all about relaxing, studying and packing! It's so fun when I get to convert my money back to US, get to charge my home cell phone and all that stuff! It really starts to get you all excited!!!

I still can't believe this is almost over - well - practically is over. 475 days. 16 months. I never thought that I could make it through this. Well, that isn't exactly fair. I knew I could, I just wasn't sure sometimes if I had the strength to get through it - but I guess I did, huh? So weird that by the end of the week I will be leaving here a 3rd year medical student. I just keep thinking what if I didn't come here. What would I have done? My mom and I can't figure it out. Would I have reapplied? Tried for the P.A. program that I was thinking about? Would I still be working in the nursing home? No, haha I at least know I wouldn't be doing that (and for all who have worked in one as a nursing aide - hats off to you!!). I guess it doesn't matter what I would have done because I know I chose the right path and coming home now is just icing on the cake!!! Well, I better get back to studying as slow as that may be. Maybe it is time for some chinese food? :)