Oh,the symmetry of medical school! Little did I know, yesterday April 15th, was my final day in medical school. This last day situation reminds me of the FIRST day of clinicals (see my July 15th, 2008 post!) where I had the same feeling of just wanting to be thrown into the uncomfortable situation and face it head on. "I have just finished my second day in my FM rotation! I was so worried that it wouldn't be what I was hoping for but I know I am already getting some great experience. I am in an outpatient practice for the next six weeks with my preceptor and on my first day she asked if I would want to follow her around to learn the ropes or just jump on in and work up my own patients. I really wanted to be thrown into the mix and that's just what happened. We had about 15-17 patients my first day, 9 of which I worked up. My preceptor of course asked if it was alright for me to come in to do my exam and then the floor was mine!" I think this is a great attitude to have in clinicals. It makes you so unafraid to go in and do it again afterwards and makes you so much stronger!
Anyway, yes the LAST day of medical school. Turns out, the resident and two pharmacy students could not make it in for Friday's rounds and in the end my attending told me to turn in my paperwork, ID and pager and that this would now be my final day in medical school. I just paused looking at her, wanting to say "No, it's ok! I'll come in!" but I didn't say a word I was just stunned. She told me "Seriously!" (with a big smile on her face). I couldn't help smiling and truly tearing up to the though that this was the very end of my education as a student and made the fellow team laugh so much they had to give me a tissue! I felt bad and told her with my eyes welled up that it wasn't because she was letting me finish today but just the fact that this was the end of the long road of being a student, truly to what will be I'm sure the most challenging thing I will ever do in my entire lifetime. Of course though, I had my patient to present and I did with tissue in hand, haha. The rest of the clinic day was great (of course because in my mind I was done after just a few more patients!). She kept introducing me as the student becoming a doctor after the day was done. Not gonna lie, it felt good but tried not to get too excited and let that news overshadow the patient's reason why they came to see us.
In the end, I was told that I was an exceptional student and as a critique (I guess?) was that I worked too hard. Haha, I always had something brought in that I read from the patients before had plus all my research that I am working on - which she loved. We hugged and I went on my way to the hospital to drop off my pager and such. It still didn't feel over until I got all of that out of my way and I was on my way home!!! Just like I thought, I did cry when I was done. Tears of shear disbelief that it is all over. The four years of ups and downs, elation, depression, feelings of accomplishment and failures was done - in the end elation and accomplishment winning out!
~Just a recap!~
Dominica 16 months [X]
Saginaw 5th semester 12wks [X]
USMLE Step 1 [X]
Family Medicine rotation 6wks [X]
Psychiatry rotation 6wks [X]
OB/GYN rotation 6wks [X]
ENT elective rotation 2 wks [X]
Surgery rotation 12 wks [X]
USMLE Step 2CS [X]
Radiology elective rotation 2wks [X]
Pediatric rotation 6wks [X]
Internal Medicine 12wks [X]
USMLE Step 2CK [X]
Oncology Research 12wks [X]
Pulmonary elective rotation 4wks [X]
Gastrointestinal elective weeks 4wks [X]
Anesthesiology elective 2wks [X]
Infectious Disease elective 4wks [X]
So here I am, on what was supposed to be my last day - in my jammies, having a cup of coffee and watching the Today Show! I still haven't celebrated yet but throughout these four years I feel like I have been celebrating all along the way, I don't want to torture them with something else haha. But I will celebrate this weekend, I'm sure. After that I have definitely found some hobbies to do, inside the house and out. I plan on doing some things for fun and also brushing up on my Spanish, maybe ASL and working on my research. All in all, I am trying to be determined to relax, not get bored and prepare for the residency ahead as best I can.
It is over. And to all of you out there reading this - it does end, I assure you. Just hang in there and don't give up! I thought I had all the passion, drive and determination in the world. While I still feel like I do, even having that wasn't enough to keep me from feeling the shaky ground every now and again. Thank you all for your support, to my family and friends for their constant love and understanding through the good and bad. I love you all!
Don't Quit
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill.
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you want to cry.
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must but don't you quit.
Life is strange with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about,
When you might have won had you stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succees with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you can never tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
Well - seem as though we made it through Chapter 1: The Island and Chapter 2: Saginaw and Clinicals! Time to turn the page in medical school's book to a new chapter! Chapter 3: Residency!!! All I can say is, buckle your seat belts and get ready for a great ride for not only my journey as a resident physician but with my life at home as a wife and many of these wonderful joys to arrive as well! You comin' along? :)
