Round Two.

Here, I am BACK in Dominica for another semester of this. Am I crazy??? I think so. I had wanted to post more at home but all I would have said was that I was having alot of fun and so glad to be near my family and friends - oh - and that I didn't want to come back. But I did. So, I got in last night but BOY what a trip! I left Saturday morning at 9am from my house and it took that long to get back, probably thanks to that 17 hour layover in Miami. So, I got all my luggage so that is good, along with my registation that got done. I was so excited to get some rest last night and even tonight. I had barely slept the past couple days. I didn't even know how I would make it through my first day of classes.

But actually, classes are over and I actually woke up! Haha. We had just 2 hours of neuro and 2 hours of anatomy. So not too bad. starting next week we go I think from 8am-4pm everyday. Things are already more clinical than last semester. I think I am starting to realize how fast this is all going and how much I still need to learn in order to have any sort of intelligence out there in my rotations next year. Haha, next year. BIG GULP. Classes went pretty well today. Gonna take a few days to get back into the swing of things. I saw everyone taking so many notes and stuff but I really didn't. I am not sure if it is because I thought it was pretty self-explainatory or I am kinda rusty. Hmm... Well, in about a half-hour I have to go to lab to do a quick intro thing. Should be pretty quick. OH YEA! I just heard that now the scholars now don't have to dissect their bodies and don't have to go to lab. That's a bunch of you-know-what. I know I still want to dissect but to get completely out of it and just observe a prosected body I think is a pretty dumb thing to make a "benefit" of being a scholar. I hope this isn't what happened to the 1st semester students. I think it will hurt them alot in the long run without getting a real appreciation for it.

After that though I am going to head to the gym to work off all the INSANE FRUSTRATION I am feeling from being back here. As it stands till the end of the semester, I have 100 days. 100 days of this first year left and I can move on to my second year. I hope it goes by quickly. Going home really didn't make me that much more motivated - it just made me want to stay home. The past couple days has made me think so much whether or not this is what I want to do. Don't get me wrong, I do - but being home made me realize how much I gave up and I've been crying alot over it. It will all be over in December when I am out of here - but then what? I'll be rotating and then very soon after being an intern. What will I be giving up then? Will it be worth it? I want to think so.

But yeah, after the gym I'll probably run home to unpack more, make some food, and start doing some work. All my thoughts about school right now and about home I am just putting a BLOCK on. I know if I think about it I will just being thinking QUIT QUIT QUIT. I really noticed that on the drive from the airport to campus. The whole plane ride home I thought about home, all the fun times, people, etc. Once I got in the taxi I had to stop. It made me too sad, too unmotivated (because of being sad - not because you all make me feel unmotivated directly lol, because you really make me feel like I can do this!). I honestly do have a mental block on thinking too deeply about home. I just think about missing it and that's as far as I go. I probably posted on this before but it's the only way for me to keep truckin' along.

Well, my classmate just told me this lab thing is now cancelled so now talking about home is now making me want to go to the GYM. I'm out for now, but I will now be writing regularly again.

I love you all so much and had a great time just being in the same area code as you. I'll be back soon and can't wait for the day when I come back and never have to leave again.

Love,
Jess