Nobody said it was easy...

Time is surely ticking down on surgery and I couldn't be more thrilled! I really wanted to post more on this rotation but when I take the time to write, it is like I have to relive it all over again. Usually when the day is over - it is the last thing I want to think about, unfortunately for you. Well, fortunately for you I am stuck here in Saginaw, as my attending as asked me to come in and round in the morning. Afterwards, I will have the rest of Saturday and Sunday off and plan on heading back home. So, here I am bored and realize what a perfect time to update people on my rotation ;)!

So this was the third week with my second attending and it was a better one. I don't know what it was but I have been getting most questions right, doing much better on my notes as far as my plans go and overall just getting along better with him. After last week, I really thought about how his work ethic affected me and how others (staff, students, residents, etc.) really had similar experiences as me. I know that it isn't just me. Being strict, unrelenting and at times condescending is just his way and maybe not even how he'd see it. I have felt like over this past week he has the military "break 'em down and build 'em up" style. I say that because my first two weeks were brutal. I mean to the point of crying most days and leaving the hospital feeling lower than dirt. Nothing I could do would please him and it was just a fight that I could not win. It is still somewhat to that point but he is seemingly more happy with my work, praising me more, joking with me more and generally a more pleasant man to be around.

I hate (really) to admit it and I am sure this happens with many students. When you are getting to the end of a rotation that you really did not like, you are sooooo happy but then have a sense of hindsight. I do not like the phrase "hindsight is 20/20", because well... duh. It's the same thing as finding something lost "in the last place you look". Anyway, I am slowly seeing how I have learned this month. While I am not learning ICU management or a plethora of information, I know I have become just that much tougher. Sure, I have gained some knowledge too, of course - but I think the majority of what I have learned is to work up a better plan, thinking to read up on patient's conditions while I have them and becoming more confident. My plans are improving, patient conditions I try to read on but when you never know where questions are coming from you just get sidetracked and completely are oblivious to thinking ahead to what the next day's questions might bring. Confidence is still something majorly in the works. It is coming along though.

Today, I had rounded and found out there was nothing else much to do for the day. Hoping I would get a break and allowed the weekend off, I was told to come in tomorrow morning to round and couldn't be happier about it (ahhemmm). Anyway, so tomorrow I will round and head home for a day or so. Next week? My last week of surgery baby! Well, there is still a month of ER to go in my rotation but it is completely different. No calls, no rounding, no lectures. Just 10 hour shifts. So next week marks a huge point for me in my medical education. As always, it hasn't and probably will not hit me for a while but I hope it does. There is a Hawaiian Ball next Friday that I cannot wait to attend for our local firefighters at home. It is dinner, dancing and... open bar! Also, it is on the same day that my surgery months end and I am sure I will be partying it up! I have really started to work on my diet (less junk and such) and began my workout regimen again that I have ignored for about 3 weeks. I am slowly getting back to my old self and can only hope that I see more of this. I know I will appreciate it as well as others who have heard me yabbering on about how stressed I have been.

Well, I am going to do some reading and relax a bit before heading to bed. I can't wait to head home in the morning!