What IS Jessica Up To?

I cannot believe how fast time flies and I apologize for not posting for the past while. There is so much that I would like to talk about so I think I will probably break it down over the next couple of posts. When I last left off I was about to do my weekend call for OB/GYN. Of course, being there for about 16 hours pretty much nothing happened! Call was from 8am-midnight and not one delivery. Only by around 5pm were there any screeners at all! Luckily, my resident let me out at like 10:45pm and I was able to get some rest. I had one more call on Wednesday but the big news came in the last few days of L&D. All I wanted was to get in there for the deliveries and be involved in it. Days past and all that happened were C-sections. Oy. Well the time finally came! My first delivery (which I was able to actually deliver the baby) and the next day I was able to deliver yet another! After that week, we had our final shelf exam and I went on home. Ah, how the days flew by...

I know it has been so long since my last post but on vacation - posting or talking about medicine for me isn't really on my priority list, so I hope you understand! It was such a wonderful vacation. I had a week off before starting my ENT elective rotation to start off my 4th year a bit early. This was a more specific rotation in laryngology (the voice box). It was a wonderful way to see more specific areas of medicine and I had a wondeful time with my attending and residents. I really was bummed when it was over because I learned so much in two weeks and was welcomed so warmly by the staff. I will post more on that possibly soon if anyone wants to know more about it! Alas, it was time for vacation. 3 weeks of it. It was so great to be back home with my Tony and Maggie. We did so much with the house - painting, carpeting, new furniture, getting ready for our 2nd annual New Year's party, etc. Christmas was fabulous too and very busy. I can't believe it is already over and here I am waiting to start my surgery rotation tomorrow.

I think I will have to wait until tomorrow to tell you all how I feel about that. Everyone has to do it and I'll get through it somehow but I am not happy about being back. Practically bitter and very emotional about it (what do you know - again). I think if I was doing this at home near Tony and family it would be 1000x better. It is so much harder coming back here to an empty, quiet and cold apartment. I am just so sad again and know where this is headed, back to feeling low and I don't think I can take it again. But what is there to do? Quit or keep going. Man, I wish there was a middle ground. Taking a break though only puts me behind and really just prolongs the inevitable of finishing rotations if not here most likely further away. I hate this funk. After this rotation, I have a month off where I will be taking my USMLE Step 2 CS in Chicago and maybe squeezing in a radiology rotation if I feel up for it. If not - 3 weeks off after my exam then back to Saginaw for my last rotation here: pediatrics. Finally, I will be back to no call, no weekends which will be a great way to finish. Then on June 5th, I am done in Saginaw and back home FOREVER. I will beg whoever I have to in order to stay home for my 4th year and don't really see it as a hard thing to accomplish as compared to 3rd year. After nearly 3 years of my medical education, I can finally finish and start my career back at home. That is all that I want! Please God, that is all that I want.

I am sorry for the delay in my posts but am ready to start off 2009 and keep you all filled in as I go along! Prayers welcomed tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it in the least and can only hope I am kept so busy these three months fly by. Or just fly by without the work (either way!). Here goes nothing...