What an interesting few days. Well I had my mini and I think it went really well. I am tempted to check my grades like everyone else has but I could never bring myself to do it! But I hope it went as good as I feel like it did. The OLAS boat party was great and everyone said they had a great time which made me feel good and my efforts worth the work. After that though I just wanted to go home and sleep so I did. Of course only until the construction workers came at 6:30am to use all of their circular saws and jackhammers or whatever they were using to wake me up. Ah well - I had a long day of things to do anyway. On the way to campus I realized that it was the day of Pass the Bucket. I was just EXHAUSTED from OLAS and now more things to do for my foundation. But since most were hungover and not attending class, we postponed this until the next day. I swear though, after all of that I was so ready to get out of Dominica. I just couldn't take it anymore. I was so tired... and still am.
...But I must say after the mini, out on the OLAS cruise and even the next morning passing by the locals who are always so warm to my morning greetings - I found myself rethinking how I felt about the island. Maybe it was just the high stress but I have come to realize things like that - be it a "good morning" or a hug from a friend on campus and more that I will mention later - it all comes full cirle and for me when I just least expected it - I found simple joys out of such stressful days.
Well it is now Thursday morning and I have saved you from blogs of bordeom from being in airports all day and night; but here I am, in NY's LaGuardia Airport awaiting my last flight home at 8:40am! I havea about 45 minutes until I board and I am so - not even excited is the right word (even though I am) but RELIEVED! I need to be home right now so badly. I am just zonked from all the studying, all of the extracurriculars and the island as a whole.
...But again looking back I recall a day or so ago getting so much praise and thanks for my work with the foundation and getting a replacement monitor for the neonatal ventilator we got Princess Margaret Hospital here in Roseau. Customs was giving us SUCH a hard time and I was getting BEYOND frustrated. After all, it was a donation and I just wanted the hospital to start using this equiptment we worked so hard to get to them. Well, once the day was about over I washed my hands of it (of course just for the rest of the day) but I was upset because it seemed that no one else (meaning the head of the hospital or even our advisor was too concerned). Of course, I knew this wasn't the case but I just felt like as usual I was doing ALL the work and I was just so tired of it. But upon getting nearly half-a-dozen emails from Dr. Grell, Dr. Burnett, Dr. McIntryre, Dean Myers and the founders of how great I was doing with running RFDH - it kinda melted my heart a bit which was once so frigid and cold about the whole situation. I realized that others did care alot about what I was doing and felt it was important, which inspired me to keep going.
All in all, I guess that this post is all about knowing that while the bad comes with the good - the good also does come with the bad. While I still desperately need this break at home I already feel a sense of excitement about continuing my work in the foundation. I am just hoping that those students out there that not necessarily are with extracurricular things but even just with school - take the good with the bad. Sure maybe a mini didn't go well or maybe you are more homesick than usual. But take any negative energy you have and just work to make it into a positive. Use that bad mini to push yourself hard for the next one and use that homesickness to use as motivation to study hard and get home to those you love and miss! Of course, when you are feeling near the end of your rope (like I do a bit now) - take that break! Use some extra loan money to take a trip home - your mind and body will thank you for it and you will get such a refreshed feeling from being back home.
It is all worth it in the end and I know this experience I will always cherish. I joke around with my mom that I will be in years and years of therapy for all this - but of course I know that oddly enough going through this will make me such a much stronger person in the end and I can truly get through ANYTHING life throws at me.
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