It is hard to believe, but FM is over tomorrow. While the day was long as all Thursdays are - I found myself sad and even tearing up that it was coming to an end. I know I have a long way to go but I know that primary care is where I belong. It is very draining at times and can be quite testing of your patience but in the end of it I am all about the little things...
The small jokes and convos that go on between established patients really is rewarding. My preceptor has known these patients for 10+ years and even generations throughout the family. Some patients I have seen once, some 3-4 times in my 6 weeks and I know that there are so many I will remember and those I will miss (which is hard to say because you never WANT people to be sick but those who add a little joy to the day with their positive attitude or cheery smile really is contagious!).
I truly think I am quite tired from my 12 hour day today (which is rare) but I feel very emotional tonight. Of course it isn't the couple of beers that I have had while packing - no, no (:P) - but really I will miss my first rotation and probably the best preceptor a student could ask for. She taught me SO much over the 6 weeks and I hope she knows that. I thought that my fire and passion for medicine was strong but this rotation truly only ignited it more. At the end of the day, and only being a student, I have felt fulfilled. Sure, it isn't the big saves like like in ER but just to make a difference in the persons day was a pleasure.
My emotions however got huge once I got home. Luckily, I spared my parents in it (Thursdays are the days we go out to Slips for pizza and beers! So fun!!!) but I came home and was just frantic trying to - yet again - pack to move away. Of course, it is only 2 hours away but as you all who have been following this blog know - it is get...ting old. I finally got to packing my clothes and opened my first dresser drawer only to start bawling. It isn't such an awful things to move and I know how fortunate I am to be near family and friends - but I guess it is just the actual relocation - to a place that to me isn't my home. It has made me feel so sad to keep moving, almost like my house right now isn't really mine because, well, I'm never here. My time from after 5th until now is the longest that I have continually lived in this house. 6 months about. Then there is Maggie (our new puppy which I don't think I have written about). We got her at 5.5 weeks and she is now nearing 4 months old. She is such a heart-melter and joy to have around. I am not sure if we will split time with her but I am so worried that she won't remember her mommy. I love her so much and she is so smart - she'll have to remember, right??
Okay, It is time for me to keep packing and get some rest. Last day of FM tomorrow and need to be fresh for pics she said she would be taking and sushi we will be getting to celebrate (YUMM)!!! I'll write again soon once I am settled in Saginaw. I know that once I am away from home again, blogs will be pouring out of me! Take care all and talk to you soon.
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