Slowly feeling back to my old self...

I'm not gonna lie, the past 6 months or so have been a bit difficult for me emotionally. Oddly enough, it was right when I came home for good late last year that I found myself pretty down and out. You would think I would be the happiest of all people with how my situation after Dominica turned out. Though over the past months I have been full of anxiety, worry and basically bummed out. Things were going well, so why the long face? I honestly couldn't say. I was never that way. Tony has always told me how positive I was before, always cheery and having the ability to bring others up when feeling low. He had told me that I just have not been "Jessica-esque" lately. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I've been in a funk.

I just wish I knew why. Things are going so wonderful (especially if I get a "pass" on the Step) yet I still have found myself sad, even crying quite often from feelings over being overwhelmed. I don't know if I would call it a depression. I have always been able to pull myself out of such a feeling but have been really struggling with it. It truly came about a couple days ago when this shroud seemed like it was lifting. I don't know what got me there or what has been pulling me out, but it is seeming to pass over and thank God because I don't want to be a downer on the upcoming vacations! I just feel like I am slowly coming back to my old self. Maybe these trips have something to do with it. I am leaving today with Anna for Ohio to see my friend Beth for the weekend. While I love home, I think a few days away might be just the ticket for me to refocus and get a little closer to where I want my mindset to be. Next up, is our North Carolina trip and I know Tony and I both are looking forward to some carefree days on the beach where the biggest decision of the day is what to eat for lunch!

Today has been a pretty productive day with calling/faxing in forms for starting my first rotation, getting doc appointments in order, doing housework, giving the dog a bath, etc. I figure especially with rotation issues, it would be best to get it all in within the next week at the latest to ensure an abundance of time for Ross to get everything ready for me. Now, I am just beginning to pack a little weekend bag, get our road trip snackies together and get going to my weekend with the ladies! As most know, I have never been much of a girlie-girl but - but ya know - maybe that is just what I was missing all along!!! :) Yay for the weekend!!!!!