New Season of Increase

Waking up this morning and motivation was low. I blame it all on being drained. Why can't this be over? Why can't I just get back home to my family and friends? Why can't I just have a break?

Every Sunday I turn on the television hoping to catch part of Joel Osteen's sermon for the week and today it was about following in God's footsteps leads to new seasons of increase. Believing in Him, knowing that my life has been set with all the trials set in place for a reason and to be ever mindful to that fact and give praise for the good and the bad that come to pass because in the end it is meant to make you stronger. Acknowledging and trusting in His plan and living your life to be as best an example of God's word leads to these blessings. While I have my times of complaining, I am so grateful to have made it through all of this. I have never been though anything so hard in my life but I know that my opportunity to come here was just the beginning of my "new season of increase".

I have really came back to something I lost a while back. Before my grandmother passed away, she really brought be back to the church and gave me a whole new perspective of how to look at worship. I fell in love with it! It wasn't like those mornings where you had to be draggggged out of bed at the crack of dawn to get all dressed up all just to fall asleep during mass. The place we went to was all about songs and preaching - really bringing home things in scripture to apply in your own life. I couldn't wait to get out of bed and go to, not to the usual 45 minute, but 2 hour service! After she passed away, I just didn't want to have to go back to that place. I didn't want to see all of the people who knew her and the memory just makes me sad, even now. I never went back but the feelings I had about worship went dormant inside.

After listening to Osteen's sermons - they really hit home. I've been thinking to myself how badly I want to come home and really forgotten about my season of increase that is coming. I have passed all semesters and moved right along when I thought I might struggle, I have friends and family who have supported me all along the way, gotten engaged to a man who has always been such a big and wonderful part of my life, bypassing Miami and coming to Michigan for 5th semester, have people willing to help me secure rotations close to home (which by the way - yet another blessing - a beautiful new home!)... SO MUCH has happened over these past 16 months. I feel sometimes like I have missed out on things back home but really my life has never changed so much in such a short period of time. It is really amazing and a wonder. The person who left nearly 16 months ago is not the same person coming home in December.

I truly feel through my belief and relationship with God that He has blessed me with a new season of increase - there is no other explaination. I feel like I have been forgetting this. I walk around exhausted, which is understandable, but I forget how much I have to look forward to! Finally moving back home (3 months sooner than expected!), planning my wedding and just setting my life back up in Michigan. I am just feeling so bummish feeling like "Ugh, 46 more days..." when I should be like "WOW, only 46 days!!!!". Think about it, total on this island I have had to spend 475 days. Out of that today is my 429th day on the island! Somehow 46 days seems so small this way.

All in all, while I know I might still grumble about my time left here - I just have to keep reminding myself to keep pushing for 46 more days. 46 more days and I will be flying home to my new season of increase and life will never be the same. Praise God :)!

...to my Grandma (or as she said, my sister in Christ), I miss your company and guidance everyday...